And so it begins.....

As with most things in life, I am late to the blog game. Nothing like leaping on he cliche train at the caboose. But I'm here now, so perhaps it's best that I dispense with the pleasantries and lay down the ground rules:

1. While I will use spell check, mistakes will happen. That's why we have Paula Abdul and defense attorneys.

2. Proper grammar ain't all it's cracked up to be.

3. I am not, I repeat, AM NOT politically correct. If you don't like what you see here, get the funk out. That's why your browser has a back button.

4. AP Style is not welcome in this corner of the blogosphere. I'm a team player and use it professionally, but this is my house, my rules. So please remember, I live in AR, not Ark., because if you think AR is Alaska, you're just the kind of person this blog is created to mock and torment.

5. Nothing I say here should be taken seriously, unless I say so. Seriously.

6. I use too many commas. Get used to it, please.

7. I'm not here to amuse you, I'm here for therapy. If you're amused as a byproduct, great. If not, you just didn't get it.

8. The "old guy" is dead. This is an inside joke. If you get it, you're either laughing or plotting my demise.

9. If you think the "old guy" is alive, you are a sad human being and should move out of your parent's basement and get a life.

10. Words are the seasoning of language. There are times I will spice liberally.

So there you have it. That's the de-facto mission statement for my blog. Mission statements are the tools of people who need to justify their existence. Consider my existence justified.

And now, a couple of miscellaneous ramblings and nuggets of bitterness. Enjoy.

The devil created cilantro to give us a "little taste of hell."

My dog craps on the floor out of spite. He knows I'm jealous.

I'll be back tomorrow with a full-length tale of woe from the day that was.